Chocolate Attack!

I try not to deprive myself of foods I love. I don't have a problem with eating a little bit of junk food every now and then. A Reese cup or other chocolate is usually reserved for those occasions. A few days ago, however, I OD'd on sugar and preservatives. For 3 days I craved nothing but junk food. I felt like a drug addict, counting down the moments until my next fix, wondering where it was going to come from...and how to hide it. The people closest to me know I'm trying to eat better so they encourage me along the way, which includes discouraging me from the junk. I didn't want them to know about my multiple break-downs during those few days. Candy bars, cake, cookies - I indulged in all of it in a matter of hours.

For a couple of days, I felt like I'd failed. I was almost ready to throw in the towel and watch myself go downhill from over-processed, nutritionally-void faux foods. But I had to realize those 3 days were behind me. I couldn't change what I'd eaten, but I didn't need to dwell on it either. What I ate/eat in the present and future is more important.

I'm currently skimming through Breaking the Food Seduction by Neal Barnard, M.D. Here's an excerpt that I could empathize with:

You’ve felt the seduction. “I know I shouldn’t,” you tell yourself. But tastes and aromas call out like Sirens, leaving you little hope of resisting. We love food—and adore it sometimes—even when it doesn’t love us back. Love is supposed to be nourishing and even invigorating, but sometimes our affairs with food pass from love to enslavement.
Foods are not our enemies. They nourish us and give us pleasure. But sometimes enough is enough.
No one ever told me they just couldn’t get away from radishes or green beans. I never met anyone hooked on spinach, cantaloupe, pears, or romaine lettuce, either. The seductions are sugar, chocolate, cheese, and meat, mainly.

The bolding is not in the book...it's just the part of the passage that hit home the most with me. By hiding the junk food, I felt almost like I was having a forbidden affair. That's certainly not a nourishing love. So here's my mantra: I will not let food enslave me. I will enjoy it without being obsessed, addicted, or overly compulsive.